Occom Road

sometimes i wait until night slips across the pond

then i walk down occom road where we held hands

you’d point out the stars and i’d watch the pavement

hundreds of fireflies shimmering on the road

 

i look at the meadow, now windblown and bloated

the wheat’s gold just like your hair, smooth as a whisper

& the children, they could spread their arms

& hold the earth for a moment like it was nothing

 

sometimes i press my hand against the window

& pretend i’m inside looking out while our oldest sleeps

draped across my rocking knee

in my dreams i’m inside pressing the keys

 

feeling felt touch cord in the room where

i lit your first cigarette

& you beckoned me to bed

the same room where i told you it was over

 

that i was leaving & you asked me why

& the look on your face, like someone

shot you in the gut, sucked away your being

your face as empty as a mask

 

even though the wood’s rotted and stinks

and no birds sing, i can’t keep away

from the skeleton of our past

you wondered why i couldn't cry

 

why i tiptoed downstairs and snuck out the back door

why i even bothered to put up the kids toys

why i kept the letters you wrote me

but broke the vows

 

it's the same reason i saw clouds when you pointed to stars

& why the only memories i can’t forget are the ones that are ours