Talent Needs a Short Memory

Dispatch to Corporate Headquarters

After a tour of the Plains states that hot bed of trucker talent due to geographical advantages or necessities, our metrics along with the eye test have located a star. We believe we have found our Truck Driving School Director of the future! 

Our recruitment team’s recommendation is to seek immediate procurement with a handsome bid that includes perks such as new office. Chip is accustomed to star treatment. We should offer uniforms for Chip’s instructors. It would be a gesture of good faith to offer a practice driving range with actual weight scales for the students. 

There are peripheral issues that we will attempt to keep in the confines of this persnickety state. The most tabloid situation involves unfounded (so far) accusations of bedding female students in the sleeper compartment. Perhaps this is timely, however as we can simultaneously reject his request of the installation of deluxe sleepers into all of the instructional cabs, while at the same time accepting Chip’s request for a vacuum system akin to a drive-through bank teller that fires a magnum of power drink into the upraised hand of the driver. Chip considers this a safety feature that prevents rooting around in a cooler while driving and I am inclined to agree. 

To Corporate

Target acknowledges receipt of offer and would like to counter offer the denial of the sleepers with remote-control placards for instructors to alternate placard restrictions such as hazardous material on the driving range to simulate real world experience. Chip’s current instructors have praised him as a practice range set-up impresario.

Have we mentioned Chip’s other talents that are crucial to Truck Driving Director success? His track record of steep increases in the sheer number of student enrollment is partially due to recognition that he is an advertising genius. Chip told me that the ideal time for a prospective student to view our recruiting commercial is between the hours of 3am and 5am when hope is at its lowest ebb. 

Chip proposes setting up an 800 number for a live operator to enroll them in the student program before they get any sleep and flush the toxins out of their brains. Chip stated in all earnestness that he would pay top dollar for that time slot as opposed to any discount during prime time, including national sporting event championships. This man is not only out of the box, but punching holes in the structure of previously long upheld tenets of a vocational truck driving operation.

Corp. Missive 

Has accepted withdrawal of deluxe sleepers in exchange for aforementioned power drink vacuum device and pop-up range placards. We have also made headway on improper use of sleeper issue. A resolution is on the horizon.

Another hoary ethical issue has been raised: The placement number of graduates at Chip’s current truck driving school has been inflated. Former students claim that instead of accepting truck driving positions they merely worked on loading docks or in dispatch while biding time for Driver openings. Sounds like an internship and I believe we can shape it that way.

Another more stubborn issue: The student loan finance company has made accusations of forged student signatures on the promissory notes and nearly unanimous default numbers. A number of students state they were forced to enter the program after being held responsible for the payments. I believe an uptick in the economy will create a correction for this temporary phase.
C Epistle: Despite what may appear as pathological lapses in judgment, I view them as mere obliviousness, due to Chip’s intense focus on data and hands-on education reform. I do agree that an ethics seminar is in order. 

I suggest that in lieu of a costly and intangible benefit of an ethics class that we have our prospective Director sit in on the drunken driving class, with which I believe you, may have some familiarity. It is taught by one of our very own instructors at the school and removes three points off an attendee’s driver’s license. Chip could even remain in his office and have the class routed through the speaker/monitoring system.

Speaking of which, another modest demand: Chip would like to have music piped into the classroom and his office. Country tunes of course, but also death metal to simulate the atmosphere of a crank-inspired sprint across a state devoid of tolls.

Letter to Corporate

Thanks for your advice and I assure you that I fully intend to proceed with great caution in these negotiations. A long night of calculated use of the carrot and stick has prompted a tearful full disclosure. Along with the aforementioned indiscretions are various sundry offenses such as instructing students how to hamper the ability of a trucking firm to calibrate so that speed limit does not exceed 55 mph by the use of simple magnetics; paying off road testers for the driving portion of the commercial driver’s license test; copyright infringement on lesson plans Chip claimed to have developed himself; and the coaching of a student who is blind in one eye how to pass his physical by pretending to completely cover the good eye. 

Our prospective Director assured me the next morning that the latest dirty laundry list is mostly innuendo that he distorted beyond all recognition of the original slip-up.

Corporate Dispatch

Great news! The judgment of the national accreditation of vocational schools is final. They penalized the school with various sanctions, placing the blame all too correctly in the culture set up by the administration instead of on the victim.

Report to Corp

Congrats! Chip’s on board. Advise quickly move to having no-fault contract to insulate against any possible future legal ramifications of hire’s actions, based upon not foreseeable, etc. extracting requisite guarantees of good behavior and extending proper counseling. Thank you, Corporate for allowing me to do my job with the proper support.